It’s crazy to think that as of yesterday, we are done with all of our “stim” shots, and will only be left with our trigger shot tonight and our egg retrieval on Wednesday! I still don’t think I’ve fully wrapped my head around the idea of doing IVF. Up to this point in time, I really haven’t felt stressed, had relatively no side affects of the stim meds that I read all about, and in just a few short days will have embryos growing. Embryos that will one day turn into babies. And I truly do feel blessed.
Every day I still face the same struggles that I’ve always caught myself dealing with. It’s a slow process, getting all the bitterness in your heart out. It still stings when people talk about getting pregnant easily or on their own. There are times I just want to shout “YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IT IS!”. But the only thing that I would have wished for myself is that we could have done things naturally. So it only makes sense that all of those other women out there want the same exact thing. Everyday that we get closer to our dreams of having our own child though, the bitterness fades a way little by little. I am learning to be thankful for this journey. I am learning just how strong I can be, how Jason can be. How this process is strengthening our marriage, and how our future child is already so, so loved.
I keep waiting for the process of IVF to really hit me. Never in my life would I even imagined that I would be excited to receive a giant box of medicine in the mail. Seriously, it was 7 pounds full of needles and vials and now I just sound like a drug addict! I thought it really would hit me when we started shots, but it really didn’t. I do really think that once we start getting the embryo updates daily is when it will sink it. Those are going to be our children. We get the privilege of knowing them way before most people get to know their children. We know the precise moment they are created. We will truly know them for all of their existence. It’s a cool, odd, humbling thought.
So far through this process, its going pretty smoothly. As it turns out, our insurance DID cover the medications, so when we were originally billed $3600, we switched to a different company and only had to pay $20. I’m pretty sure I heard my bank account breath a sigh of relief. We had 10 days of stim meds total, with the first 5 days consisting of 2 shots each night, and the last 5 days of 3 shots each night. I never mustered up the courage of giving them to myself, so Jason was a trooper and did them all for me. The first night, only a few tears were shed, mostly just getting all of the anxiety of having my husband stab me in the stomach, and from there it was smooth sailing. I suppose as smooth as it could be for the fact that shots hurt, and I was getting multiple a night in relatively the same place. I have around 24 follicles (12 on each side), and have been overall feeling good. I was actually getting nervous there for a while that I didn’t feel any different, but the ultrasound and bloodwork come back better and better each day. On Friday (stim day 7) I started feeling just sort of out of it, lack of appetite, exhausted, but my body is working hard over here! I essentially have 2 bunches of grapes hanging off of each ovary, so I think feeling a little tired is a blessing.
I’ll be sure to give an update after our egg retrieval on Wednesday, and I’m so excited to share our embryo development with you all. Each and everyone of you who take the time to follow along with us and our story is a complete blessing. I never understood why people get upset or angry about the dreaded “when are you having kids/do you have children” questions. I am proud to say “No, not yet. We are actually going through infertility treatments and hopefully one day soon”. I love sharing my story, and other women should too! Life isn’t always easy, but it makes it so much easier when you can tell others of your journey.
And as always, if you feel it in your heart to give finically to us, you may do so here: Baby Applegate IVF
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